Wednesday, 9 March 2011
An end...
The RastaBadger Speaks (for all intents and purposes) is now dead. Fear not though as my career in interesting internet writing just kicked the lid off it's coffin. Whether this is a permanent revival or just a short twitch from the nervous system remains to be seen. My new blog "Think, Type... profit?" can be found here http://think-type-profit.tumblr.com/.
Friday, 12 November 2010
Lemons
Sorry about the delay on this post, I was busy... ummm... being lazy to be honest but its here now in all its weird lemoncholy glory (<- Get it? Its a play on the word melancholy which sounds like melon which means kinda sad which is a good fit because I often have to be in a slightly melancholy mood to... you know what forget it I'm moving on).
So what do you do when life gives you lemons?
Make lemonade?
This is probably a bad idea as everyone else does this so the market will be flooded with lemonade stands and with the current economic problems you wont be able to sell it for a good price and no-one will have the money to buy it and this sentence is already too long so I'm going to finish it up and move on to the next one.
So what should you do?
It's simple really.
Create a lemon powered weapon/doomsday device. Something that shoots lemons or makes the citrus acid inside it super powerful. Then you can use this weapon to rob banks or the doomsday device to hold the world to ransom. This also means you can become a Batman villain (thats the old tight wearing Batman not this new Batman who seemingly eats pure grumpy for breakfast). Who doesn't want to be a Batman villain? You could create yourself a nice suit made of lemons and become The Citrus Avenger.
Then you could join forces with Penguin, the Joker and the Riddler to create an army of insane, citric acid shooting penguins that can only be destroyed after solving a series of devilishly difficult clues.
Then you could be foiled by Batman because you didn't strap him in to his death machine properly or you used the wrong type of water to inflate your henchmen or some other arbitrary reason that allows you to come back next week with an even more ludicrous plan which may involve some type of bomb that forces Batman to try and dispose of it but make sure the area is full of nuns and children so you can create and amusing chase scene and...
Actually I'm going to end that sentence there as well but my point is lemonade is boring and overly intricate plots are awesome.
So next time life gives you lemons do the right thing.
Become a Batman villain.
So what do you do when life gives you lemons?
Make lemonade?
This is probably a bad idea as everyone else does this so the market will be flooded with lemonade stands and with the current economic problems you wont be able to sell it for a good price and no-one will have the money to buy it and this sentence is already too long so I'm going to finish it up and move on to the next one.
So what should you do?
It's simple really.
Create a lemon powered weapon/doomsday device. Something that shoots lemons or makes the citrus acid inside it super powerful. Then you can use this weapon to rob banks or the doomsday device to hold the world to ransom. This also means you can become a Batman villain (thats the old tight wearing Batman not this new Batman who seemingly eats pure grumpy for breakfast). Who doesn't want to be a Batman villain? You could create yourself a nice suit made of lemons and become The Citrus Avenger.
Then you could join forces with Penguin, the Joker and the Riddler to create an army of insane, citric acid shooting penguins that can only be destroyed after solving a series of devilishly difficult clues.
Then you could be foiled by Batman because you didn't strap him in to his death machine properly or you used the wrong type of water to inflate your henchmen or some other arbitrary reason that allows you to come back next week with an even more ludicrous plan which may involve some type of bomb that forces Batman to try and dispose of it but make sure the area is full of nuns and children so you can create and amusing chase scene and...
Actually I'm going to end that sentence there as well but my point is lemonade is boring and overly intricate plots are awesome.
So next time life gives you lemons do the right thing.
Become a Batman villain.
Friday, 29 October 2010
Just a quick note...
I'm not dead nor is this blog. I will get around to updating it I just haven't been in the mood to post anything recently. This is just so you fans (HAHAHAHA like this blog has fans) don't think this blog is dead.
Friday, 1 October 2010
And the winner is...
Well deciding on who to give this to was really hard because there was LOTS OF REALLY GOOD REASONS SERIOUSLY NO JOKE I AM NOT BEING IRONIC!!!!
Anyway...
Before announcing the winner I would like to respond to one or two of the comments I got.
First up is Algia. He said that I should give everyone a copy or they will all hit me... one flaw in that plan. I only have one copy of each game. Not gonna happen next question.
Coincidental the next one is also to Al. He said that I should give him the games because I owe him a boost... I'm sure you can work out the rest.
Tiia said it's a popularity contest. Wrong if someone I hated came up with the best reason then I would give it to them. As it happens I like intelligent people so people I like are more likely to come up with good reasons.
Now for the result...
And I can now announce...
That I have decided...
On a massive cop out.
Now don't get angry but I couldn't decide between Dave! and Gareth so here's the plan.
You both have to get in touch with me via steam for this as it would be to easy to fake the other person on a blog. You both have two choices. To split or steal...
Actually screw that, it didn't work as a tv show. You both have to get in touch with me still and choose what to do. You can either have one of the games each and you can fight amongst yourselves who gets which or you can each choose heads or tails and I'll use a computer simulation to toss a coin 100 times. The person who wins the most gets both games. Make your choice friends...
Anyway...
Before announcing the winner I would like to respond to one or two of the comments I got.
First up is Algia. He said that I should give everyone a copy or they will all hit me... one flaw in that plan. I only have one copy of each game. Not gonna happen next question.
Coincidental the next one is also to Al. He said that I should give him the games because I owe him a boost... I'm sure you can work out the rest.
Tiia said it's a popularity contest. Wrong if someone I hated came up with the best reason then I would give it to them. As it happens I like intelligent people so people I like are more likely to come up with good reasons.
Now for the result...
And I can now announce...
That I have decided...
On a massive cop out.
Now don't get angry but I couldn't decide between Dave! and Gareth so here's the plan.
You both have to get in touch with me via steam for this as it would be to easy to fake the other person on a blog. You both have two choices. To split or steal...
Actually screw that, it didn't work as a tv show. You both have to get in touch with me still and choose what to do. You can either have one of the games each and you can fight amongst yourselves who gets which or you can each choose heads or tails and I'll use a computer simulation to toss a coin 100 times. The person who wins the most gets both games. Make your choice friends...
Saturday, 25 September 2010
Competition Time
Hello there friends.
Let me ask you a question. How would you like a chance to win digital copies of Serious Sam HD The First and Second encounter?
To win you must have a Steam account though if you don't have one you can set one up and download Steam here http://store.steampowered.com/. You must also ask permission to enter from your parent/carer if you are under the age of 18 as I don't want to get in trouble with the authorities.
If you fit the above criteria then you have a chance of winning. All you have to do is leave a comment below telling me why you should win these two amazing games along with your steam name. The person who I feel gives the best reason for why they should win will be announced on October 1st so check back here for the winner. So hurry up to be in on the chance of winning.
(Now why don't you make an account and follow this blog eh? It won't help you win but why not?)
(Second thing don't get used to these. I'm only doing this as I have spare copies of the game which I can gift to who I want and I don't know who to gift them to)
(Finally if all the reasons are terrible I have the right to not award the prize to anyone so if you are the only one to comment you won't win by default unless the reasons are good.)
Let me ask you a question. How would you like a chance to win digital copies of Serious Sam HD The First and Second encounter?
To win you must have a Steam account though if you don't have one you can set one up and download Steam here http://store.steampowered.com/. You must also ask permission to enter from your parent/carer if you are under the age of 18 as I don't want to get in trouble with the authorities.
If you fit the above criteria then you have a chance of winning. All you have to do is leave a comment below telling me why you should win these two amazing games along with your steam name. The person who I feel gives the best reason for why they should win will be announced on October 1st so check back here for the winner. So hurry up to be in on the chance of winning.
(Now why don't you make an account and follow this blog eh? It won't help you win but why not?)
(Second thing don't get used to these. I'm only doing this as I have spare copies of the game which I can gift to who I want and I don't know who to gift them to)
(Finally if all the reasons are terrible I have the right to not award the prize to anyone so if you are the only one to comment you won't win by default unless the reasons are good.)
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
It begins...
Dawn...
A time when night gives way to day...
A new day...
The day when it begins...
My quest...
Well that was kind of sad but not nearly as sad as what I'm going to say next.
Tomorrow I embark (if that can be used assuming I wont move that much) on an epic quest. What is it? Well this quest will continue until after I move on to a new stage in my life. It will not end until I am not the age I am now. It will end (Providing everything goes to plan) in one year. In that year I shall strive tirelessly to complete my goal. A goal that I have meant to complete for a long time. The goal is as follows.
I am going to watch every Star Trek episode, in one year. (and possibly the films if I can)
This quest begins tomorrow. For every day from then on one and a half hours a day will be spent watching two episodes. At least eleven will be watched a week. With at least fifty in a month. I will document some of my journey in this task however where I go my beloved readers can not follow. I go to glory... I will truly become a nerd... and I may descend into oblivion.
May (insert appropriate being) have mercy on my soul.
Live long, and prosper.
(Also I said I'd mention Dave so Dave here is your mention. If I see an increase in reader numbers then maybe an entire post will be dedicated to you and your... interesting... choice in music)
A time when night gives way to day...
A new day...
The day when it begins...
My quest...
Well that was kind of sad but not nearly as sad as what I'm going to say next.
Tomorrow I embark (if that can be used assuming I wont move that much) on an epic quest. What is it? Well this quest will continue until after I move on to a new stage in my life. It will not end until I am not the age I am now. It will end (Providing everything goes to plan) in one year. In that year I shall strive tirelessly to complete my goal. A goal that I have meant to complete for a long time. The goal is as follows.
I am going to watch every Star Trek episode, in one year. (and possibly the films if I can)
This quest begins tomorrow. For every day from then on one and a half hours a day will be spent watching two episodes. At least eleven will be watched a week. With at least fifty in a month. I will document some of my journey in this task however where I go my beloved readers can not follow. I go to glory... I will truly become a nerd... and I may descend into oblivion.
May (insert appropriate being) have mercy on my soul.
Live long, and prosper.
(Also I said I'd mention Dave so Dave here is your mention. If I see an increase in reader numbers then maybe an entire post will be dedicated to you and your... interesting... choice in music)
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
A celebratory post concerning things I do not celebrate
As you may well have noticed I recently attempted to do some advertising of my blog through Facebook to increase my number of readers. This endeavor seems to have paid off as I looked at my blog when I got home and lo and behold I have another follower bringing the total to five at the time of typing this. So ecstatic am I at this recent 25% increase in followers that I decided to write a celebratory post about the one thing that is bringing my mood down at the moment.
Homework, or homework assignment, refers to tasks assigned to students by their teachers to be completed mostly outside of class, and derives its name from the fact that most students do the majority of such work at home.
^That is the definition that Google gave me when I asked it to define homework.
Now I have to say this very nearly sums it up. However I have plans: I need to get down to playing some serious LOTR:Online for my next review; I have music I want to listen to; I want to try a new song on my guitar and most importantly I really need to get round to doing those thank you calls for my birthday. On top of that I need to eat, put the rabbit away and watch Star Trek at 8pm. I'm not even a very active person so I don't know how someone fits all that in plus goes out with friends, plays sports, goes to clubs and have a significant other.
A school is an institution designed to allow and encourage students (or "pupils") to learn, under the supervision of teachers.
^Thats what Google defined school as. Now heres the point I have been slowly dragging this entire post to. School is compulsory (Ok I haven't reached the point quite yet but bear with me). I accept that. The thing is school is "to learn, under the supervision of teachers." Homework "students do the majority of such work at home." I am not "under the supervision of teachers." at home (yes my mums a teacher but I'm not exactly supervised in my room) therefore homework is not school. From this I deduce that homework is not compulsory. From this I deduce that homework is an evil ploy to waste my time, bring my mood down and generally get in the way. Therefore I request a new definition of homework that goes something like this.
A waste of time used to aggravate students and get in the way of important things like Star Trek and looking up amusing images on the Internet.
I would go on but I have homework to do...
Homework, or homework assignment, refers to tasks assigned to students by their teachers to be completed mostly outside of class, and derives its name from the fact that most students do the majority of such work at home.
^That is the definition that Google gave me when I asked it to define homework.
Now I have to say this very nearly sums it up. However I have plans: I need to get down to playing some serious LOTR:Online for my next review; I have music I want to listen to; I want to try a new song on my guitar and most importantly I really need to get round to doing those thank you calls for my birthday. On top of that I need to eat, put the rabbit away and watch Star Trek at 8pm. I'm not even a very active person so I don't know how someone fits all that in plus goes out with friends, plays sports, goes to clubs and have a significant other.
A school is an institution designed to allow and encourage students (or "pupils") to learn, under the supervision of teachers.
^Thats what Google defined school as. Now heres the point I have been slowly dragging this entire post to. School is compulsory (Ok I haven't reached the point quite yet but bear with me). I accept that. The thing is school is "to learn, under the supervision of teachers." Homework "students do the majority of such work at home." I am not "under the supervision of teachers." at home (yes my mums a teacher but I'm not exactly supervised in my room) therefore homework is not school. From this I deduce that homework is not compulsory. From this I deduce that homework is an evil ploy to waste my time, bring my mood down and generally get in the way. Therefore I request a new definition of homework that goes something like this.
A waste of time used to aggravate students and get in the way of important things like Star Trek and looking up amusing images on the Internet.
I would go on but I have homework to do...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)